The Mall AKA Hell

Well, really, it wasn't that bad. Getting out of the house, though, is ridiculously, insanely, slow and difficult on the weekends. It is the Hubby's fault. He is not as used to maneuvering around with three rambunctious kiddos as this hardened veteran Mama.
I have the diaper bag packed, diaper changes, missing shoes, bathroom protests, snacks, threats of no video in the car, get your water, we are leaving right now with or without you for the love of god!
Down!
Piece. Of. (exasperating). Cake.

So...anywho. I had recovered from the body numbing painful two day flu and was ready for battle- err- shopping. We had a mission= PJs, and we were gonna do it fast and sweet.

I was lucky enough to get a shower (those of you fellow Mamas out there know the luxury of a few minutes of peace in a nice hot shower without having to put the big kids in front of the TV with a snack and a bribe/threat and the baby in some contraption right outside the shower and sing to him the whole time or beg and cry to please just give Mama a freakin' break and let her wash the mucous from your runny nose out of her hair for the love of god!).

Then I decided that since we were in a hurry and on a mission I should skip any type of primping (hahahaha!) and go au naturale.
I mean, wow!, a clean shirt that had not (yet) been used as a napkin, and contacts in!
Woo-hoo!
HOT MAMA (not!).


The mall felt like High School all over again... People all pimped out giving me that judgemental look... and, yes, just like High School, I was twitchy, and paranoid, and self conscious...

But it also felt like a pinball machine and I was the little ball zig-zagging around (trying to avoid those horrible makeover kiosks)... After the flat iron guy tried to get me to let him tame my (ridiculously) frizzy hair and the Pro-active lady started toward me - I was just DONE!
I basically RAN through the cosmetic section of a department store while the women working at the various booths sucked in their breath in horror at my appearance.
I loudly proclaimed to my Hubby (dutifully trodding behind with the kids happily bouncing along next to him) that this was like HELL to me and why did we have to walk through this section?!


Our mission was accomplished.
PJs purchased.
Kids had a good time.
I had material for a blog posting - good day had by all.

Anyway... I am a Mom of 3 under the age of 5... I am a tad bit frazzled... And, baby, I sure do look the part!

Deal. With. It.